This is how you Sonic. That’s How You Kohl’s. Guest how you guest with IHG Hotels. No one foods like Lowes Foods. Bud Light makes it easy to Sunday. Lowe’s knows how to help you holiday. Ketel One: Born To Cocktail. 

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Quick show of hands: How many of these taglines pass the BS test? How many of them make you like the brand more? How many of them mean something without a 30-second TV spot explaining what their meaningless phrase means?

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This nonsense needs to stop. That's why the second post in our Line Break series (from the desks of your favorite BBHQ copywriters) focuses on this cringe copy crime.

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Look, I know the best idea doesn’t always make it through the machine. And I’ve most definitely put work out into the world that wasn’t my proudest stuff. But when people talk about the gradual dulling-down and homogenization of advertising, this is the kind of stuff they’re talking about. And in my LinkedIn post a few months ago, I saw tons of feedback from people who felt the same way, many of whom don’t work in advertising (which is sometimes necessary to get out of the echo chamber). 

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In addition to the visceral reaction these messages elicit, my main beef is with their ambiguity. What does it mean to "Sunday", and how does Bud Light make that better? A grocery store knows how to "food"? You don't say. Oh, and you're instructing me to guest how I guest...just like I always have? Are we having fun yet, y'all?

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I’d like to think this is the unfortunate byproduct of an overwrought process, where the sharp edges get lopped off one-by-one until only a blob of “Lowe's knows how to help you holiday” is left. After a few groan-worthy internal check-ins, an underwhelming client presentation, a few more mind-numbing internals, followed by a spaghetti-at-the-wall presentation, punctuated by a terrified corporate marketing team who waters down the most vanilla nothing-burger of an option…maybe you end up there. 

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But I really hope that’s the case. And not because a creative director gets up on a soapbox and gives an impassioned speech, sharing their team’s revelation that Kohl’s is not merely a retailer — it’s an activity. It’s not a shop — it’s a experience all its own. It’s not somewhere you GO — it’s something you DO. And the Kohl’s team goes wild, guzzling the Kool-Aid and believing they’ve created an entirely novel human action through their curation of AC/DC tees, Skechers, and spatulas. 

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No, this is NOT the same as companies like Venmo or Google or Xerox who successfully turned their company name into a verb, because they actually created a new action or experience. We “Venmo” a friend or “Google” a store’s hours or “Xerox” a copy. This is the sign of a company who made something so useful and widespread, it crossed over into culture in a natural way. The public decided it was easier to say “Google it” than “Search it on Google”. If your brand can make this happen, it’s a beautiful thing. But if you’re trying to turn “Cocktail” into a verb, good luck with that. 

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and this is mine. This is not a dig at ALL the work created by these brands. In fact, I love the charming vignettes of the “This is how you Sonic” TV ads. But when you see that tagline on its own (on a billboard or coupon or to-go bag) it's not really saying much. And maybe that's my point.

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It’s my opinion that this increasingly common technique is a result of groupthink, playing it safe, and not asking an honest friend, “Does 'Guest How You Guest' sound like total bullshit?” before launching a national broadcast campaign.

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